Why do Men Lie When they Don't Have To?

by kristel
(US)

Question:
So I've been involved with a couple "men" who have told me they love me, want to move in, get married, blah blah blah. I had my doubts in the beginning so I told them they don't need to say all that (especially after we just met!) if they don't mean it, if they just want to hook up with no strings attached, I'm fine with that.

Just keep it real is all I asked. But no, they kept insisting they really love me and want something long term and all that. So when I let my guard and start to believe they might just be telling the truth, it happens. I find out they're involved with other girls.

When I said I'm fine with casual hook-ups, I meant it. So what's the point of the lies about commitment when it was never necessary in the first point? Do guys have a hard time believing that a girl only wants an occasional hookup and nothing more?

Answer:
Well Kristel, men and women would like their cake and eat it too. I'm sure even you at one time or another said what you needed to say to get what you wanted even when you probably didn't have to. Now does your occasional hookup mean the same as theirs. They may have other motives that are different from yarn.

There is nothing wrong with believing that a girl wants an occasional hookup. Some men can't probably handle that especially how society has already painted a picture on how a woman should be. And don't worry about what other people believe. You stay on your path of what you want and believe in.

You just state what you'd like at that particular point and time and let the chips fall where they may. Action speaks louder than words.

I hope I answered your question. Take care and all the best.