by Jen
(Baltimore, MD, USA)
Visitors Story:
My last relationship was with someone with self esteem issues who became very emotionally controlling and it intensified the longer the relationship continued.
We broke up the first time when I moved all my stuff out while he was on a business trip. I'd had enough. I was there when he returned and I tried to sit and calmly explain that we just weren't a good combination.
It quickly became heated and started to become ugly so we never were able to calmly discuss the dissolution. A few weeks later he had a family trauma and used that situation to make me feel bad for him and guilty for leaving. I returned, or actually, this time, I let him move in with me.
I made him explain all the reasons he didn't want to accept the breakup and explained my own challenges as well. He listed all of the things I had "done wrong" in the first break up and I created an action plan of correcting any of those things I felt I had culpability in.
I followed through with all of the things I said I would and when the relationship went too far south again, I explained that I fulfilled all my obligations and had done everything I committed to. I had to be forceful and very direct but he finally let me go...tough break up and tough one to break up with.