Visitors Question:
Hello Clay,
I am a difficult situation....I will be turning 50 this year and for the last 15 years out of 24 I have not had sex with my husband.
I have tried to approach him on this and finally he said he is no long attracted to me. I know he has desires because he looks at porn on the internet.
If i dare say i want to do so or utilize toys which are not permitted in our home (by his choice) that would not fly.
We dont have a healthy relationship because there is no respect for one another... if i had the money i would leave.
I know all this for this one question.... i met someone on the internet by pure accident, I was not even considering or looking and it was on Farmtown (facebook).
He is from another country... for 5 months now we have been talking and wow... he is incredible he says all the right things that I have never heard in my life.
I have only had two relationships.... I saw his picture and he saw mine.
I truly thought he was around 35 or 38 years old.... i almost fainted when he said he was 25. Now I am trying to fall out of love with him....my heart wont let me but morally i cant do this.
How do i stop these feelings. If anything this internet relationship helped me to pull myself together to get out of this loveless marriage.
I am moving out of the home and beginning a new life with a divorce in hand on May 09, after my daughters graduation... Please how do i stop loving someone who is half my age?
Answer:
Well you have a few things going on there. If sex is important to you and it's not to your partner and you've tried everything to get him to indulge then I don't know what to tell you, it's your call.
I think you let this issue of yours go way to long and the man did say he's no longer attracted to you.
Maybe you should do the things that made him attracted before. Try to think back and see what changed and when. If that doesn't work then you'll have to start taking matters into your own hands.
You said you've met someone on the internet? Was that really an accident or were you somewhat looking for a little comfort?
How could you love someone that you've never met. You just may be a little hooked on what's being said because you've been starved of such things for so long.
I'd like to add, be careful about people from another country. I've heard of situations where they prey on people that are in situations like yours and can be very weak and vulnerable.
They usually start being nice then start asking for favors and money. Anyway you're in whole different country.
What kind of relationship could that really be, talk about long distance, sheeeeesh. If you're going to get out of your situation, then get involved with someone closer to home.
I hope I've given you something to start with. Good luck and all the best to you.